


Yes Jim

by galaxystardust



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Emotional Constipation, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Soft Boys, Spooning, T'hy'la
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-20 05:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20222323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxystardust/pseuds/galaxystardust
Summary: Spock is so overwhelmed by his love for Jim that he has a breakdown in the middle of a chess game.





	Yes Jim

The two sat across each other with the chess set in between. Jim had the biggest softest grin on his face. His eyes carefully followed Spock’s every move. Spock would catch his eyes and shyly look away, trying to keep emotional control. Jim’s hands gracefully reached to the chess pieces and then returned to hold his face, chin or cover his mouth. The two were unusually silent tonight. Spock was so overwhelmed with emotion. This gentle affection had been going on for years between the two of them. Spock felt for Jim so strongly and so deeply that it was becoming painful.

Spock already had incredibly disciplined mental shields and emotional control. His combination of Vulcan and Human physiology and culture made him exceptionally sensitive and emotional. Jim. Jim was just too much. Jim was so kind and affectionate to Spock, in a way he had never experienced from any Vulcan or from his own Human mother. No other Human treated him as well and Jim did. Most other humans were attracted to him by his exotic uncanniness, but also intimidated by his superior silent strength and lack of emotional expression. Jim. Jim was different. Jim was not intimidated. Jim accepted Spock exactly as he was, Vulcan and Human. That was how it all began. That was how Spock fell in love with Jim.

“Jim, is there some reason why you’re staring at me?” Spock said as he looked down at the floor.

“I’m sorry. I just enjoy your company.” Jim shifted his seat and looked down at his hands. The smiled faded from his bright face. When Spock looked up he felt sadness but also relief at Jim’s change in demeanor.

“Was I making you uncomfortable, Spock?”

“Yes.”

“Spock, you’re the most important person in my life. I can’t imagine what I would do without you. Please if I ever make you uncomfortable or upset say something. I want you to be… content.” Each word was a small dagger tearing Spock’s resistance apart.

“Jim,” Spock looked down, “you are also the most important person in my life. I am hesitant to speak of this, but I have very strong feelings about our relationship.” There. He said it. It was a small relief on emotional pressure lying just beneath Spock’s stoic surface.

“Why Mr. Spock! You are a softy aren’t you?”

“Please Jim, this is difficult for me.” Jim immediately reached out to hold Spock’s arm and offer some comfort.

“I know you’re half Human, Spock. I’d never hold that against you. We’ve been through so much together and I know that you can feel very deeply without expressing it in a way that any normal Human would recognize. But I see you Spock. I see your moods,” Jim leaned across the table to speak softly, “ you’re safe with me Spock.” Spock gave an unusually audible sigh.

“Please Jim, you don’t understand. I value our friendship more than anything, but I am afraid that I am unable to express my feelings for you.”

“What is it Spock? Just… just say what you mean. I don’t want you to be distressed by me. You’re too important.”

“I’m unfamiliar with Human customs related to this feeling and Vulcans have a very different way of handling it that might not be appropriate for our situation. That’s why it’s so difficult for me Jim. I feel so strongly that it is becoming painful,” Spock’s voice wavered, “I believe it is an emotion that you would call love.” Jim’s face lit up. His eyes and his smile were wide. Spock couldn’t bear to look at this beautiful radiant being and continued staring at the floor.

“Spock! Spock? I had no idea! Oh… I don’t know quite what to do. Spock yes, I love you too in my own human way. Spock look at me. Can I give you a hug?”

“Ok Jim.” Spock could feel tears about to explode from his eyes, tears of relief and happiness that Spock was afraid to let fall. He melted into Jim’s arms. Spock gasped for air against Jim’s shoulder.

“Spock, it’s ok. Here let’s sit. Get comfortable. I’ll hold you for as long as you need.”

“Yes, Jim.” Spock had completely lost control of his faculties. Tears fell with each excited painful gasping breath. He could only comply with Jim’s words and Jim’s gentle guidance to the sit next to him on the bed. Spock was breaking down in a way he had never experienced.

“Spock it’s ok, I love you too.” Spock couldn’t look at Jim or speak or move. Jim just held him close and petted Spock’s head as he buried it into Jim’s shoulder. Jim could feel Spock shaking as he released emotion. Jim began to gently rock the man in his arms. This continued for a few minutes until Spock released a final long sigh.

“Spock, can I kiss you?”

“You don’t understand Jim.” Spock felt a fresh wave of confused emotion welling up. Love, frustration, desire, sadness, loneliness.

“What’s not to understand? Love is a beautiful thing! Love is what makes life worth living.”

“For humans Jim, but that is not the Vulcan way.”

“You’re half human Spock! Let yourself be a little human!” Jim said with a laugh. In all these years he knew that Spock gave him special attention, but he never expected this: his Vulcan having a breakdown because he was so frustrated in love. “You damn fool just kiss me!”

Not knowing quite what to do, Spock gently pressed his lips to Jim’s forehead like his mother had done when he was small. Jim laughed and squeezed Spock a little tighter. Jim held Spock’s face so that they were eye to eye. Jim’s soft smile and wrinkled squinting eyes could not be avoided. Spock’s dark eyes were shining wet pools or wonder, delight, confusion and uncertainty. Jim slowly and gently brought his lips to the corner of Spock’s mouth for a small kiss. Clearly Spock was new to this and already overwhelmed. Spock’s eyes closed. Jim moved his face back but noticed that Spock seemed to remain waiting expectantly. Jim let out a small laugh and pressed his lips directly on top of Spock’s would a loud smack. Spock remained unmoved and expectant. Jim went in again for a kiss, but this time held the back of Spock’s head and parted lips ever so slightly for a slight exchange of breath.

Spock leaned back away from Jim a little and looked down at his hands. Slowly and shyly he raised two fingers without looking up. He didn’t see Jim’s enormous smile, but he could feel its radiance. Jim’s fingers met his own. There was a slight electric spark.

“Oh Spock, I don’t know what all this means in Vulcan, but I do really love you. You’re my best friend and brother in arms. I owe you my life and I would do anything to make you happy. I want you with me always Spock. Don’t be afraid of these feelings. We will work through it together. Just don’t leave or distance yourself from me. It will be ok.” Spock could feel the authenticity in Jim’s words.

“Yes Jim” Spock was speechless for once in his life. The painful burn of his feelings had calmed. Spock held tight to Jim. He had little experience in physical comfort or affection, but he knew that he would be safe in Jim’s arms.

“We can stay here as long as you like, Spock. Here,” Jim lowered the Vulcan’s elegant body to the bed and settled him into a spooning position, “stay like this all night. I’ll just hold you. It’s ok.” Spock took a deep breath. He would need to meditate on all this, but for now he would indulge in this human affection. Spock slid his hand under Jim’s and let their fingers weave together.


End file.
